Stop feeling guilty about your parent living in a nursing home

Taking a parent to live in a nursing home is difficult. Many people who ask their parents to move to a skilled nursing facility often hear a flat-out “no!” After all, who wants to leave a home that they know to permanently live in a strange place, especially when they are in their senior years? Adult children are often consumed with guilt when asking a parent to move to a nursing home, thinking that they are upsetting or harming their loved one, that somehow it is abandonment.

Most people come to elder care after an event that makes it difficult or unsafe for the person to live on their own; or it highlights reasons why the elderly person should not have been living on their own for a while now. This can mean that the elderly loved one’s physical health has deteriorated, and other times it can mean that behavior and mental issues resulting from old age or illness have rendered an independent life impossible or dangerous.

No matter how our emotions may cloud reality, the truth of the matter is that your parent is in danger if they remain living alone – you understand that, which is why you are reading this and looking for a solution.

When a loved one is in the winter years of life, we are reminded that our time together is limited. This is especially true for people who have lost one parent already. When people lose a parent, it is a sorrow that never leaves, and they are missed every day. Therefore, when a second parent needs care, the children may feel that they must take on total care responsibilities. After all, if you miss one parent, how can you send the other to live away?

There is no way to change how much time we have together, but what you do have control over is the quality of time spent together rather than the quantity. The reality is that most people are not equipped to provide full-service medical and nursing help to their parents. That is, unless they are healthcare professionals, in which case they are likely busy at work all day. Leaving work to provide around the clock care to a loved one is not a luxury most people have, and no one wants to leave an elderly sick person home alone all day. Isn’t that why you are looking for the perfect nursing home for your parent in the first place?

At the end of the day, your parent’s health, safety, and long-term happiness is most important, and a decision made in service of those things cannot be worthy of guilt.

This Month is the First Ever National Caregivers Day

National Caregivers Day

Mother’s Day is in May; Father’s Day is in June; and Grandparents’ Day is in September – what about the people that take care of the grandparents? Coming up this month is National Caregivers Day, the soon-to-be annual recognition of the trusted people that take care of the elderly and the ill, which is held on the third Friday in February – this year on February 19.

Professional caregivers provide individual attention and treatment management for people who require long-term care or are in hospice care. Caregivers are entrusted with providing elderly and ill people with vital services to keep them going and to do so healthily. A caregiver’s job is to be medically trained and attentive while also providing compassion and companionship to their patients in a long-term nursing home environment, in a short-term rehabilitation setting, or in the patient’s own home.

National Caregivers Day is actually a brand new holiday, being officially established by Providers Association for Home Health & Hospice Agencies (PAHHHA) in 2015. The very first observation of National Caregivers Day will be this year on February 19. However, this day of observation will likely stick around, as there are dates already set and advertised through 2026. This nationwide observation comes on the heels of other caregiver-focused days and months, but those typically focus on family caregivers. Although family caregivers are the most common type in the United States, there is still an army of highly trained professionals that are providing immeasurable care and support.

This is a bandwagon that everyone is encouraged to hop on because it inspires a showing kindness and appreciation for those who work very hard to care for your loved ones. All families who have a loved one receiving care can participate in National Caregivers Day, it just takes a little imagination.

Buy a small gift for the caregiver that shows that your family appreciates their efforts. The gift is not about the monetary amount associated with it, it does not have to be expensive – keep it simple! Do you know if your parents’ caregiver enjoys jogging? Then an iTunes gift certificate can keep them in fresh music to keep their workout fun and challenging. Does the caregiver work long hours, starting early in the morning? Then they would appreciate a gift card to Starbucks to keep themselves caffeinated. National Caregivers Day is all about making a connection with the professionals charged with your loved one’s’ care and expressing gratitude